tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341399660916117324.post5096806460028386129..comments2012-06-02T09:43:24.406-07:00Comments on Rachel's Blog of Poetry: CreativeRachelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11425634313715214069noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341399660916117324.post-84182011216961706592012-05-07T13:10:47.285-07:002012-05-07T13:10:47.285-07:00Rachel,
I dig this and I dug our conversation. I...Rachel,<br /><br />I dig this and I dug our conversation. I think you have good poetic instincts and know how to play with a poem like this to make it even more instructive-delightful.<br /><br />Make sure to switch up the grammar at the beginning and give me another metaphorical image or two. Are any of the boys in striped shirts or orange? Are any of the young girls whistling mournful tunes? Is the teacher a warden?<br /><br />DaveDavehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03007804760439414596noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-341399660916117324.post-89502009833618764902012-05-05T07:08:15.028-07:002012-05-05T07:08:15.028-07:00Very dark. Usually when you see children they ar...Very dark. Usually when you see children they are on the happy side of the spectrum and you did a great job of darkening the scene. Daycare realness! Where are they going? What are they going? I think there is a lot of great description and set up, but I think it could use some focus.emuhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07124178872177775896noreply@blogger.com